Kayaking to Vientiane
Posted Date: 11/15/20138:17 AM


We kayaked for two hours, the rapids were ripples, and we spent the same amount of time driving as if we had not of kayaked at all. What I find amusing is the safety training we had for the rapids.

The tour guide told us the dangers of the rapids;
“There are whirl pools that drag you under, this is how you hold your paddle…blah, blah, blah, blah”
Then just before the rapids he pulled us to the side of the river to go over the safety procedures again! We are cognitive beings, I am sure the group had not forgotten the first load of bullshit instructions. Anyway the tension built and we were sent down the river. The so-called rapids turned out to be no bigger than the wash of a small boat. And I was hoping for some solo-man action. Sorry Acey.  I would not say that we were ripped off but I would say that we were the victims of false advertising. No biggie, lunch was good and the scenery was quite pretty.
When we finished our kayaking over “severe rapids” (my arse) we were loaded into the back of a truck with small bench seating. This would have been fine, but the wet season has begun. We got fucking drenched and it was extremely cold. By the time we were dropped off at some tout’s guest house in Vientiane we were cold, hungry, angry and wet. If it was not so cold and wet we would have been fine, but the mission was hectic. Heccas.
We stayed in Vientiane for two days. We went ten-pin bowling, drank French red wine, and ate Italian food. It is a strange city. We did not do much. Sorry for being so boring. We will try not to be in the future. If you have a complaint about this blog entry please dial 1800 RAT ARSED and complain to your little hearts content.
Have you ever wondered what the water dragons in manly damn would taste like if they were barbequed in the sand with charcoal? I used to watch those lizards whilst on abysmal geography excursions and wonder…

Source: 36 Degrees and a Plate of Rice blog
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